Wednesday, May 26, 2010

New Photos.


I love this sign at work because it exemplifies the optimism and enterprising spirit of America. It shows there are people out there who see a bagel toaster and say, "Toast a bagel? Well then why not a goddamned donut? They make them hot at KrispyKreme, why can't I have my own hot donut dream right here and right now? And as a matter of fact, who wouldn't love a muffin top even more when it's warm and slightly crusty?" It shows that there are people out there who aren't afraid of a little fire getting in the way of a tasty breakfast.

I got into my car to drive to work recently and had a FRIEND hanging out on my dashboard gauge system -- actually, it's fairer to say IN it and not on it. This creature ran around under the glass as I drove. This happened to be on the morning after a particularly disturbing nightmare and contributed to a very Amityville feeling in my existence. Was this a signifier of something? Or just a meaningless distraction that could cause me an accident, if I let it? By the time I got to work, the spidersect was gone -- not sure where he went, and even now I wait for him to crawl up my leg as I'm driving.

This photo was taken in the office of an internist I recently saw. It featured many items I would have loved to have in my bedroom in the 1980s, such as this rendering of Jimmy Dean. This doctor was also selling postcards of his own photography at the front desk. That, along with the autographed photo of him with Eartha Kitt, made me wonder about his focus on being an internist. Who has time for doctoring with all of this going on? However, he proved to be a very attentive and knowledgeable man. I wish I could say the same for his student assistant, who had to ask me three times how to spell a common medication and used me as a guinea pig (without asking) for his first foray into drawing blood.

I encountered this gathering while exiting my apartment building on a recent weekday morning. As you can imagine, it stopped me in my tracks. It's not often that you see an ant gathering of this caliber -- especially right at the front entrance of an urban building. What had them so worked up? I couldn't tell. But it was a remarkable sight -- sort of like the ant version of the U2 360 tour at the Meadowlands last year, after the trains failed to come.

I really loved this sign at the Dulles airport, and I can't say exactly why, except for that it's so succinct and perfect, and it calls to me in a way that says "Come hither you heathen, because people like you need the international sign for prayer, the McDonald's version, for you don't understand religiosity beyond seders and Kirk Franklin, and every once in awhile we all need to kneel and look up, especially in airports. And also, I am praying for the signage gods to give me feet."

Music: "We Fall Down, but We Get Up"

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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Cultural Snow.

[She] was curious about my work. So I told her about my interviews with would-be starlets, about my piece on restaurants in Hakodate.

"Sounds like fun," she said, brightening up.

"'Fun' is not the word. The writing itself is no big thing. I mean I like writing. It's even relaxing for me. But the content is a real zero. Pointless in fact."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, for instance, you do the rounds of fifteen restaurants in one day, you eat one bite of each dish and leave the rest untouched. You think that makes sense?"

"But you couldn't very well eat everything, could you?"

"Of course not. I'd drop dead in three days if I did. And everyone would think I was an idiot. I'd get no sympathy whatsoever."

"So what choice have you got?" she said.

"I don't know. The way I see it, it's like shoveling snow. You do it because somebody's got to, not because it's fun."

"Shoveling snow, huh?" she mused.

"Well, you know, cultural snow," I said.

-- Dance Dance Dance, Haruki Murakami

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Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Modern Communication.

Hi. Are you still there? Sorry, I had to take that call.

Did you get that e-mail? I sent it to you awhile ago, but maybe it didn't go through.

I texted you. Did you get my text?

Did you see M _____'s status update on Facebook? I can tell you about it if you failed to adequately scrutinize your news feed.

Are you on Twitter? I'm not on Twitter. But did you see what A____ tweeted? It was funny. But I'm not on Twitter. It seems so stupid. Like, what's the point?

Sorry, I'm just seeing this. Are you there?

I'm on Twitter now. Are you on Twitter?

That band? You know them. They have that song that's in that commercial. Yeah, it's a cool song.

Hello? Sorry, the AT&T network on iPhone is s**t. That's the third dropped call today.

I don't listen to voicemail.

That place? It got kind of bad reviews on Yelp. But we could try it.

Where are you? Wait, I'm looking. Wait. Where? I'm walking. Oh, OK I see you now! Bye.

Did you see that K_______ was at the place last night? Yeah, he posted it on Foursquare. What's that? Oh, it's this thing where you can post your location. I know!! I don't know why anyone would want to do that. I never want to be that accessible. Is nothing private anymore?

Oooooh the iPad. I have to admit it's pretty cool. Are you going to get one? Yeah, I don't know when I'd use it either. But I want one.

So, I joined Foursquare. Are you on it?

What? I'm sorry, you're breaking up.

Did you see that article? You should read it. I meant to forward it.

It's OK, I'll just Google it.

Music: "No Reply At All"

Sent from my iPhone/BlackBerry/device that explains my situation